The Light Days
A Beautiful Stone I Came Across
One day In a pool gray, calm, but cool A beautiful stone, I found under my feet What did I know, except that between my toes May be the stone I need? Or dreamed one day, may, Come from a god to me today? Or just a stone. Oh yes surely, I laughed at my inner fool And scoffed at my inner words But languished at my inner hope In the deep of the pool. I seek answers to questions no one knows The truth so far leaves me dead The value in lies? The value in dry bones? Certainly not in this small stone instead It pierced through the water and beamed And treading ahead of my own mudding wake Dreaming of tastier porridge and island lands Where once my days of sun and warm sands Yet now anguishing in pity and useless hands Saddled with a mask of vim and purpose Bargaining once again with God For reasons and ways and loopholes out. Perhaps my own hand? The walk was instantly more interesting when The stone said, "I am a stone.” I smiled at my ear’s hearing, for was said “Like you are stone too, the very image of Bend down, and see me better from here sir.” I smiled at my thoughts of irony Having, a stone been called Continued she, “Let me go where you go for a while, We may help each other from this eternal pool."
I smiled at my thoughts of glory fading, a trick “See, I am stuck here on this bottom, And I fear I will never leave.” I smiled at my thoughts of perfect hopelessness. “Cast me away . . . without effort then, Or even in your pocket. Carry me home” I smiled. As a man aside, I laughed and said “What do you know about being a man? You are nothing but a stone of a stone. A stony stone, oh sure look at you in your shiny stony ways Judging me for all of my ways and days That I walked past you in your judgment seat of sand Much softer on the surface than me are you? No And not on the surface are you! Sure, delightful in your stony ways In your ivory like stony stone of a stone’s ways. Well me and my milky white old bony bone of a bones days But anyway, maybe I’ll take you with me for a ways. And then my childish words rang in my ears I smiled at my child. I noticed that my eyes bereft of tears For the first time in years, and so I praised a random god and picked up the stone. The stone’s voice sounded like a baby Before it learned to cry A smiling old woman before she learned to die Raised from her death For one more moment of a sigh At the bottom of the pool More like fresh life though, and yet worn shoes The smell of baked cookies almost burned And pie stolen from the sill For fork and cream, to just let dream Of angels in pie like frill. And days without death in my veins
And this stone, why? And this life, why? And this death, why? And what made this stone cry? What longing for, but to die? What needing for, and to sigh? Has truth been told and then bold Asking for a care gone by? The stone had, after all, under foot Found me in the dark deep place Where only sand and pieces go Where no stone dare to fall lest it lay As swimming done and currents stay, With no hope of escape From darnings and damnings And endless clammerings And charmings and fears all And washed them none away Soot all and none, and under my foot. The bones of the earth with tears decay The need to know what blessings come I pick it up fully and look I worship it for a test A moment to see if blessed I need to know, so, I should decide At my breast to place this stone. And to know that it shall Not carry me down to the deep. This deep found Stony stone. Nesting in my heart? Insinuating it’s beautiful shape and obvious art? Mine and all could fall to the sand in abandon Whether to toss my cares to the bottom below To make room in my tears for death For this new gem, shall I toss it back? Skim it into the keep? Or will I raise it to hold it high Above my head Above the surface and not die? This bony old stone? Great it's colors deeper than life itself I looked at my reflection in the pool Life giving water, and I felt of the chain on my wrist Imprisoned by whom? And in earnest? Or in jest? No, He had given me, my crest. Treasured and served me well And I throw it all to hell! This dark hateful stare And he graceful and in His mercy seat More than deserved My holy father, my savior and brother? Called my sweet loved one home? The call answered or not I searched for loopholes again Yet to my business at hand Then I noticed the setting My bracelet, something I had never seen A setting empty and clean Beautiful silver and gold To one side or the other My sister, my brother My father, my mother I know none gave this to me I know not where it’s craftsman lies I know not where, when or how I looked at the new polished stone, Perfect match, made to fit Perfect stone of a stone in my Familiar old bracelet And a gem, in my eyes I felt new, and taller Glowing inside for the first time in ages, The first time in decades, all chapters and pages My neck filled my collar with dreams of mercy Pride? No! but joy and comfort to me And to the children who have sighed And the love that has all but died I saw the bones dry I saw the love die I saw the hope, and then the lie But now my flesh filled in around my bones My sores fell away and my pain The day was now my best I saw judgment but now I saw the rest How did my foot come to beautifully rest Upon this beautiful stone? I placed it in it’s throne and smiled. I looked at the beautiful bracelet A proud father, mother, sister, brother It seemed to sound like an angel’s calls A baby I held dear to my arms The ringing songs of longing The life well lived, the glory of love The bringing of carpets and jewels and couches For a moment on which to sit and praise The highest of high and the fullest of cups The best of times and the greatest of days The soonest of nows and I drank it up full With my heart and my eyes My heart beating? no, pounding, at the beauty Of this beautiful stony prize. Then above, in the heavens The image of the Holy. He and she sat on the ground and wept. He and she looked up and said “I have felt pain, are you surprised? Don’t you think the One true God rubs at His and Her eyes? Does the creator lay His and Her joy upon the ground? Does the Master find His and Her heart broken down? Does the Omnipotent One feel the sting? At the ultimate fate of even one of these humans One of these lovely things?” I wept. “Don’t you imagine the Magnificent One Has a heart that beats? Does the Holy of Holies have a soul that bleeds? Do I have any need? Do I lose you too? Is it wisdom that you would seek till you lose? Do you hold the One accountable And close your eyes? Grieve me away, and one day Walk away? And one day die? That I grieve yet again? Does the God of all and ever, have A regret? A wish? A desire? A list? A pillow? A drink with warm fire? A true friend? A warm toast, a nice meal? A satisfied feeling of something well done? Listen my love Does the One, Have the love of my own dear and wonderful son? Did I watch Him die too? Now I watch you? Don’t you think, I have a feeling that collapses Into tears on the pillow of my throne’s couches? When the breath was his last and you spit on his face? When the human turned into a gender A judgment? or a race? Yet my child, my love, my true friend, One questions begs . . . A loophole, to make it all end?” I wept. “I love you” I wept “I did want something.” “My God, please tell me!” “I wanted to see what it felt like. For you to lay down upon the sea and float with me For you to gaze at me and even [giggle] cry Tears of warm joy with me with smile Just a bit like I was something that was So wonderful to behold like I see, In you. That you knew in your heart that the part of me That loves you, loves him and her and he and she And loves all and all cut down, and none will be denied Unless they chose to stand on the crown, and to close their eyes And not see And to know that you trust me And don’t hide from your need To blame me, but stay In my arms until the end of the day I wanted to be the One To be the one you’d hold up above you head A tear down your cheek, and smile Take home your fear? No, lay it here Take me all the way home Your home, your real, beautiful home Sit me back down upon my throne I wanted you to look down and say, What a beautiful perfect and glorious stone.”
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A Mad Lover’s Greeting CardR Krabbe Some
things are unchangeable, so
. . . not to worry, Some
things are undeniable, unthinkable, unexchangeable, so
. . . not to worry, You
cleanse my madness through your beautiful soul, You purify
my madness, through your beautiful body, You
sift my madness through your beautiful heart, You
heal my madness with your beautiful spirit, And
make my madness in part, a
better madness, and the demons, in crushed
silence must depart.
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The EulogyRob Krabbe 2003He
sits there happy, comfortable, rocking, and content, In
more of a laying down and dead way. I
love him deeply and fully, complete my hearts ascent, In
more of a seething hatred with hells’ bitterness resent. He’s
a “good egg” and “good people”, smiling, real, and otherwise, In
his humble wonderful wit and wisdom, oft proffered. The
kind of cute and funny way, that is only hurtful, evil and despised. In
the same way a street bully boy’s mercies are offered. A
life and gift loved by all, held up to praise, a model, God’s
own design, His purpose to nurture fairness and coddle, In
the way a beautiful cancer cell, it’s purpose perfection, Leaves
all that has worth, and value, in a trail of dying infection. Hail
high the plaudits, resound! Echo
the halls of this manor with praise. Give
way to trumpet’s calls, for magnification, Yea,
laud, inscrolled on the banner we raise. Indeed,
raise the glass, and tear stained teeth, Tales
wondrous, and memories, ensconced, In
the bowels of all hell, that knew this bastard of a man, With
all his many faces wiped off. I
wail, in my grief, openly, never again will I feel, His
just countenance softly settle, On
my shaking, trembling, and castrated will, As
I mourn his mesh and his mettle, Hear
ye! A god of a man! I fall to my knees weeping, Let
the angels softly sing, to the sad, sad king, In
the way demons, dancing and leaping, Tell
the God of our Fathers that he’s coming home today, And
tell the world for a moment to stop giggling and pray. Thrown
whimpering, myself to the ground, my heart lay dying, In
the kind of way the born phoenix rises from the ash. I’m
fully torn down, and destroyed, and done, I’m
fully dead, slain from loss, and in surrendered prostration . . . In
the sort of a laughing hysterically—insanely joyful way,
Of
a violently giddy kind of celebration.
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I Thought I Knew Silence © Rob Krabbe 10.02.2002
I thought I knew silence Quiet spreading out the wrinkles I thought I knew when nothing sounded Quiet spreading out the lies I thought I knew when all walked away Quiet spreading out the battles I thought I knew repose I thought I knew masks laid down Quiet spreading out the night There’s a fullness in this emptiness There’s majesty in this nothingness There’s glory for my king in this There’s nothing for the moment to sing A million prayers, and answers I can load up in a box Memories of days when God’s ways Were nothing like the wants of my heart A million doves and white and gray A thunder from the heavens All my pain has been washed away In a moment of silence There’s a day when neck upon the block The sword cut through the air And Abraham held firmly by the angels God said that’s enough, I know your heart God said that’s enough, I will heal you now. God said get up as I tried to bow. I want to just hold you, you are my child, He said, Just be quiet, just be quiet, As I tried to speak, Together we took in the silence.
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| Cast me not away © rob krabbe
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| I will not die tonight © rob krabbe i will not die tonight, the darkness pierce, by light, i found strength, yes, to fight, in the heart of my true love. and in her beautiful eyes, the horror she despise, and demon, she deride, but gift me, from above. She hold me sure and tight, And tears, do she with mine, And force me, cross no line, But keep me to her breast, And pass me hope like wine, And full with drink and trust, I give she, all that mine . . . Would waste there like the rest. So taken, by her love, When offered full and free, Placed in me, from above, Yet none she ask of me. But give, to her I will, My soul and love and life, And love her, always still, And took her, as my wife. Then give her, what I can, And can, be not enough, And rough hewn, from the sand, The sand would blind my sight. But find that she, still here, Has here, been all along, The song, that bring a tear, I will not die tonight. |
| Once down in a quiet place rob krabbe © Once down in a quiet place, My thoughts and I lay skin on skin, And drawn upon my weary face, The leathered lines of questions from within. Danced then downward, as a flame licks high, I thought of all the things I've come to know, So I raise my mind's glass beyond the sky, And toast, to all that come, and all that go. I lay at peace upon the sun warmed grass, The scent of something coming, something new, A blanket pulled long and slow across the open sky, The curtain soon drawn, gray that once was blue. Anticipation and the breeze, the subtle din, I lay, my arms outstretched, and close my eyes, Long green blades of grass, dance across my skin, And then I feel, the very, very, first drop of life. Then three, and four, and now in earnest fall, My body so alive, the senses, the touch on fire, The life that comes, as ancient spirits call, As the skies of mercy open up, and my desire. That one with nature's power, I can thrive, And feel my soul once wounded now is healed, And feel my heart once dying, now alive, And feel my sorrows poured out on the field. Raise me up and rain fully deep in me, High enough to see the glories of this life, Alive and hungry once again, leave me wanting, Comfort me, please, but never let me cease to strive. |
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Each new day
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In gratitude of my kindred spirit A new day begins. |
| . . . and still praying © r. krabbe
For yesterday is
now as is tomorrow. Take heart and have peace, |
| Seems like a blanket being drawn Seems like a blanket being drawn, I feel it more than see it, yet it comes, It's pulled across the plans and schemes, No matter, filled with dusty dreams, The sun would cease to rise, and it becomes, The blackness and the darkness, from the dawn. This longest road becomes a mystic seat, Where mesh and mettle find them juxtaposed, The wizard fills, with smoke and air, The hearts of dreamers everywhere, And steals away the fun, which never posed, Did lay the oldest memories at their feet. And curs-ed follows hopeless watch them find, The common ground on which they can agree, That once upon a wistful day, The wonder whisked them all away, And found them want for nothing that they need, But all they need and want, they turn in kind. Soon the hearty sun will rise no more, Then moon and stars will take the open sky, And more, the spirits call aloud, Like drink unto a thirsty crowd, And friends like there have been none, you and I, And that which I've never been before. The years did come, the days have wandered through, The pages turned, the chapters all but read, Some day will find us sitting there, The wizard having spent his fare, The final tempting words, all having said, Will find us, love, not wanting, me and you. |
| Because of her © r.krabbe Deep inside me, there is a place where I go. Because of her, I love myself. |
